WHY I PRAY FOR MY ABUSERS

Have you ever prayed for those who hurt you? It's hard the first few times, isn't it? It doesn't feel natural - it feels hard. Wrong, even. I remember thinking "I'd better get this right because I don't want to do it again." In my mind, praying for my abusers was a one-time event and then I'd pass some sort of cosmic test and be done with the whole thing. Wrong! The more I pray for my abusers, the freer I feel. I realize that sounds completely backward, but it's not. When I hold on to unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, or any other negative emotion, it mainly hurts me. It's like drinking poison and expecting my enemy to suffer the consequences. It will not work. I am the one who needs to take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. 

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,  that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. - Matthew 5:43-48 (NIV)

Lao-Tze famously said "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." While I don't completely buy into the destiny part of that statement, I do believe that thoughts and words ultimately affect our actions, which affect our character. 

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. -Proverbs 4:23

When we allow bitterness, hatred, anger, pain, or any other negative emotion to overtake us, we become bitter, hateful, angry, pain-causing human beings. This isn't to say that we shouldn't allow ourselves time to feel and process big feelings. We absolutely should! That's what therapy, prayer and quiet time with God are for. What I am saying is that we should not allow it to control us. 

There is a season for pain, there are more seasons for healing, thriving, and living into the plan God has for our lives. Don't sit for so long in the pain that it becomes your entire world.

You're not a tree. You're not planted in one area, expected to stay there for life. Move away from the abuse, from the pain into something better - a renewed heart, stronger faith in God, and total healing. Know that it is a process and will take a long time. Don't expect it to come easily and don't attempt it alone. Here's a great resource to jump-start your healing today: Faithful Counseling Online

Have I forgiven my abusers? Yes, however, it's a choice I must make daily - sometimes hourly. Some triggers hit my emotional buttons sometimes and I have to take a moment to stop and pray for God to grant me the strength to forgive them. I don't have the ability on my own. I need God's help. 

Just because I pray for my abusers, that doesn't mean I want to hang out with them or even be in the same room as them. I don't even want to be in the same town! God has given me a unique love for them in that I don't desire any harm to come to them. I hope to see them reformed, in Heaven with me someday. I like knowing that God is so big He can change and heal everybody. That tells me that no matter what I personally go through, God's got me in His hands and there's absolutely nothing for me to worry about. 

Stay tuned for another episode. I aim to crank out the blog posts three times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.