THE MOST PRECIOUS JEWEL

In every treasure chest, there is one key jewel that everyone looks for. It is more valuable than all the rest. In many tales of treasure lost and found, it is a specific piece or set of pieces that will unlock a secret that's long been waiting to be exposed. Sometimes the jewel is a shiny emerald or diamond, whose value is indeterminable, yet will allow for the purchase of freedom from slavery of some sort. In Christianity, our treasure is in Heaven. His name is Jesus. 

Jesus is the most important, most valuable treasure in all the universe. He transcends time and space, there is no earthly value to be placed upon His head (though Judas Iscariot tried and failed, with a mere 30 pieces of silver). Knowing Jesus frees us from all slavery here on earth. Our hearts no longer belong to an earthly master, but to a good, pure, loving, merciful, all-knowing Creator - God. 

There is absolutely nothing on this earth that can break us eternally, aside from shutting out God and denying His gift of Salvation. That choice lies entirely upon us, though. We can be presented with the Gospel many times and it is always up to us as to whether or not we answer the call to Salvation. As annoying as the song is, Paula Cole's "I Don't Want to Wait" is a good reminder to come to Salvation now. The hook goes like this: I don't want to wait for our lives to be over. I want to know right now. What will it be?" 

Judgment day is too late. You have to make the choice now, while you're still alive and there is time left to enjoy the gift of His Salvation. The world is hurting. You're hurting. I'm hurting. We're all in some sort of pain. We're all searching for something, but the world does not possess the answer. I've looked for it in the bottom of a bottle of vodka, tequila, beer, wine, bourbon...you name it. It wasn't there. I've looked for it in the eyes of my children, my husband, and unnamed "lovers"...it wasn't there. It wasn't in a bottle of pills, in chasing a thrill, or even in an inspirational book, like One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It wasn't until I heard and understood the joy of the name Jesus that I found it. I found freedom, healing, comfort, companionship, joy, peace, and Salvation.

We won't live forever. Our children won't live forever. There will come a day when we'll take our last breath and our souls will leave this earth forever. It's our choice, not God's, as to where we're headed next. We can spend eternity in Heaven with Him, or in Hell without Him. There is no escape from either. In Heaven, we'll have no desire to be anywhere else. In Hell, we'll beg and plead, but there is no way out - just eternal suffering, worse than anything we've experienced here on earth. 

One of the saddest comments I've ever heard someone make is that "Only God can judge me". This is usually said while someone is unapologetically amid sin, in the midst of heartbreak, and searching for some sort of meaning in their lives, in all the wrong places. A downward spiral is already in effect, yet they are completely oblivious to this fact. Christians may attempt to step in and help. Some are probably effective at chipping away at the outer layer, but most will attempt, in a callous, arrogant way to "help" by pointing out all the ways in which the person is at fault for their own downfall. What they fail to recognize is that at the heart of the matter is a very broken, traumatized individual who is crying out for love and acceptance in the only way they know how. Will we choose to respond as Jesus would? Or will we be like the Pharisee or the tax collector in Luke 18:10-14 (NABRE)

“Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector.  The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, ‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity—greedy, dishonest, adulterous—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’  But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’  I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

God does not use self-righteous men and women to change the world for the better. Look at history. Who does God use? He chose David, the smallest and youngest boy in the family to be the greatest earthly, human king the world has ever known. God chose Gideon, a scared fool to fight the Midianites. Moses, who stumbled in his speech was called to speak to Pharaoh to free the Israelites from slavery. God chose you, broken-hearted child, to make a difference in your own community. Your own family. Your own neighborhood. Your own household. He's giving you the strength right now to stand up for Him. To uncover the most precious jewel you'll ever possess - Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. -1 Corinthians 1:27 (NLT)

You're absolutely right. You don't have the skills right at this moment to do all the things God is asking you to do. But you will. If you step out in faith, God will meet you exactly where you are and He will provide all that you need to do all that He is asking you to do. Will you heed the call? And will you help others to find the most precious jewel, or will you keep it a secret all to yourself? Something this amazing was never meant to be hidden away but to be shared with all people everywhere. 

Stay tuned for another episode. I aim to crank out the blog posts three times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

CHRONIC PAIN

The whole world is hurting in some way. The pain runs so deep. Far too many people are searching for something to fulfill them and falling short of finding it because they're not even sure what it is they're looking for. We have smug Christians, like me (yes, I am guilty) looking down on the secular world and wondering what is wrong with them. What is wrong with the secular world? They don't have Jesus. We haven't been very good about bringing the Good News in a good way to them.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 

-Romans 3:23 (ESV)

Why is this important? Isn't this supposed to be a blog about healing from sexual trauma? Absolutely, it is. What have I said time and again? Full healing comes from Christ. Where does pain come from? The world. Sin. Satan is running amok with his merry band of demons, working like mad to turn us all away from Christ. The root of all our pain is sin. Ours and the sins committed against us, which are ultimately sins against God. We need Jesus. The world needs Jesus. 

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” -Revelation 21:4

So how do we bring Jesus to the world? First, we heal. We dig into our Bibles like it's our last meal and we need to devour every morsel. We pray, fervently. We pray for our healing, for our abusers, for those who are helping us along in our journey, and for our Pastors and the clergy at our church. We pray for our Salvation and the salvation of others. And we never stop. When we see someone in pain, we pray. When we see something good, pure, and beautiful, we pray. When we're thankful, we pray. Whatever we're doing, we pray. Invite God into every moment of life. 

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (ESV)

I have a chronic issue called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome which is inherited from my parents. It's very painful and I have a lot of flare-ups that cause extreme pain and sometimes immobility in parts of my body for days at a time. It's easy to get discouraged when I have a flare-up because the pain is so great, I can easily relate it to the pain of childbirth. This week, the Lord reminded me of a young boy in my church who has asthma and has been having a lot of trouble breathing with the constant smoke in the air from Oregon wildfires. The Lord gently chided me, reminding me that if that sweet young boy can remain joyful in the face of a chronic illness, so can I. 

One of the things I did this week while in pain was to
organize my seed collection. Gardening is a hobby
 that brings me immense joy and I can do aspects of it,
like organizing seeds, even while in pain.

There are many intricacies to healing. It's not one size fits all, aside from a universal need for Jesus. No one's journey is going to look exactly like someone else's and that's okay. For me to heal, I have to accept that I have a chronic issue that causes me to lose control of my own body sometimes. That's hard to take. I was very angry this week because I felt like I was losing control of everything, but that wasn't really true. What was true is that Jesus held me in His hands while I healed from a flare-up. He allowed me downtime to read my Bible more and to pray. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. -Proverbs 3:5 (ESV)

I'm sharing all of this with you because I never want to dissuade you from sharing your true selves with your care team - whatever that looks like for you. In being transparent with each other, we can lift each other up and empower one another to face our issues head-on and find true and lasting healing. There is no good to come from keeping the truth in the dark. The devil will use that and run with it. Remember, all darkness, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem, needs to be exposed to the Light. This is how we find true healing in Jesus Christ. 

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord...The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? -Jeremiah 17:7,9 (ESV)

God understands us. He made us. He knows us. He sees us. He hears us. He is always with us. And He asks that we share His Word, share the news of His healing, and encourage others with the same encouragement that has been given to us. I love you. But more importantly, God loves you.  

Stay tuned for another episode. I aim to crank out the blog posts three times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP

Toxic families are like a tangled, sticky spider's web. They feel impossible to escape from sometimes. There is always the main abuser, an enabler, someone who is frustrated with the situation so they become a secondary abuser, and then, of course, the black sheep of the family that calls everyone else out on their behavior. Black sheep are a strong, courageous bunch. We don't often take "no" for an answer, we're introspective, teachable, yearning, and searching for more. We have an idea of our worth, but it sometimes takes us a while to fully embrace it. 

O you who love the Lord, hate evil! He preserves the lives of his saints; he delivers them from the hand of the wicked. -Psalm 97:10 (ESV)

Abusers don't like it when black sheep put all the facts together and present their case. Enablers really hate it, too. My Mother is an enabler. She sits in her comfort zone, pretending not to see what is really going on, and just encourages everyone to live in peace. She thinks she has some semblance of power over the abuser in the household, but she is totally mistaken. He (Stepdad) has all the power over her because she laid down and allowed it. 

For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions... -2 Timothy 3:6 (ESV)

My younger brother was always frustrated with the situation, and he often became a secondary abuser. There are aspects of my brother I will always cherish, but for the most part, he is just as messed up as my Stepdad, and I suspect he knows it. That would explain his multiple addictions and inability to hold onto a relationship. 

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. -Galatians 5:16 (ESV)

It's not easy to be the one who sees everything, taking it in, moving it around in my head, trying to fit the puzzle pieces together to compute the "why" of it all. Why did everyone turn out the way they did? Why did so much evil ever enter our household? Why was I the one to get away? Why can't they just stop?

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. -Proverbs 6:16-19 (ESV)

Enablers have to accept at least two things in order to change. One, that they're being controlled, and two, that they're allowing it. I'm not talking about a surface understanding of this, either. I'm talking about a deep, all the way to their soul knowing and understanding. There is no way of denying this type of understanding. This is the type that actually pulls you into letting go. I wonder if that day will ever come for my Mother on this side of Heaven?

Abusers? Well, they're just like addicts to an extent. They have to first admit they have a problem, and then they have to sit with their big feelings and actually examine how big the problem really is. I don't see my Stepdad ever being the type of man who is able to do this on his own. He is the macho type that doesn't appreciate an ounce of weakness in anyone. He'd use that weakness to exert power and control, then claim to be the victim eventually. 

For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. -Luke 8:17 (ESV)

It makes me utterly sick to think about all the years I spent trying to please both my abuser and his enabler. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, always. The enabler would always have some sort of harsh criticism, disguised as a backhanded compliment. Then, to make up for hurting my feelings, there was a sudden influx of praise. The abuser would pounce, "clarify" things and leave me feeling like a wet shirt hanging on the clothesline in the middle of winter. There was never a way to please them both at the same time. I had to stop trying.

But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. -1 Corinthians 5:11 (ESV)

You'll know when it's time to walk away from your abuser and enabler. How? The very moment you wake up to the fact that you're important. You're smart. You're wanted. You're loved. You've been created by a God who knows you and has known you since before He knit you together in your mother's womb. The moment you feel that pull into letting go. That's when you run away as fast as you can, as far as you can and you don't look back.

“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you. -Matthew 7:6 (ESV)

It's time to go...see what's on the other side
of that fence, you let hold you in.

Stay tuned for another episode. I aim to crank out the blog posts three times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.