Day 18 - God Is Not Angry With You

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 18 - God Is Not Angry With You

Dear teenage self, 

God is not angry with you. He knows you're scared and often feel unsafe. He sees you in your pain and recognizes that you're still learning and growing. God is infinitely more patient with you than you are with yourself.

It's hard to feel safe when all around you, people are engaging in unsafe behaviors that put you at risk. Of course you're going to react like a scared raccoon caught in a cage. That's how our brains work when we're terrified and can't find a safe place to be. God sees this. He knows this.

For God has not chosen to pour out his anger upon us but to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ; he died for us so that we can live with him forever, whether we are dead or alive at the time of his return.  

+1 Thesasalonians 5:9-10 (TLB)

 

God is very patient with us. He desires that we heal, that we are saved, that we are made strong through Him. He desires eternity with us. Lean into Jesus today, embrace the gift of His salvation and live with Him forever. 

Let's Pray

Lord Jesus Christ, sometimes it's hard to embrace the gift of Your salvation and to trust that You are not enraged with me, especially when I am scared of my surroundings and act out. I know that my behavior is not always pleasing to You and I am sorry for that. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit and guide me along still waters so that I may drink in Your peace and find healing. I desire to live forever with You. It is in Your name I pray. Amen. 

These new goslings are being protected and guided by their parents at Sundial Bridge Park along the Sacramento River. How sweet. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 17 - God is a God of Absolutes

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 17 - God is a God of Absolutes

Dear teenage self, 

God will never leave you nor forsake you. He is a God of absolutes. He always loves you, never leaves you, never lies to you, always says what He means, and can be trusted at all times. He will never make promises He doesn't intend to honor. He is your everything. 

So often, you feel afraid that your needs will not be met, that you're too much for the Lord to handle, and that you will ultimately disappoint Him to the point where even God will abandon you. That simply is not true. You are not too much for Him. Be assured that you are safe in this place and have a future richer than your current situation. 

And my God will fulfill your every need according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

 +Philippians 4:19 (LEB)

Richard Wurmbrand spent eight years in prison for his faith, three of them in solitary confinement, never seeing another human being other than his captors. During that time, he often sang to the Lord and prayed with the angels he knew surrounded him. Sometimes, he said he could sense the Lord in the light amongst the shadows on the walls of his cell. His need for love, encouragement, and spiritual fulfillment was always met, even in the absolute worst situations. 

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, You are always good. You can always be trusted. Thank You for remaining by my side even when I don't feel You near. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. 

One of my favorite books. It reminds me to stay humble, stay close to the Lord, and never waiver on my belief that God is all we need.

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 16 - You Are Beautiful Just the Way You Are

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 16 - You Are Beautiful Just the Way You Are

Dear teenage self, 

You are beautiful, just the way you are. All around you, girls are experimenting with makeup, hair products, self-tanner, diets for weight loss, and fashion choices. Sometimes, you compare yourself to others, making you feel bad. You were never meant to look like all of the other girls. You were made to be you. 

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 

+1 Peter 3:3-4 (ESV)

Focus on the internal work of beautifying your heart, letting God take hold of it, and transforming it as you renew your mind. Focus on the Word of God, prayer, meditating on the Word of God, and breaking down walls in your heart that separate you from Jesus. Those are the beauty treatments that will serve you well all the days of your life. 

Let's Pray

Jesus, I need You. Sometimes I get so caught up in the world, wanting to conform to beauty standards of those around me. I often forget that You care far more about the state of my heart than the brand of shoes on my feet or the color of mascara on my lashes. I confess that I have sinned against You with my vanity. Thank You for filling me with the Holy Spirit, convicting me, and setting me free so I can go and sin no more. I love You, Jesus. It is in Your Holy name that I pray. Amen. 

We are beautiful because we are His.

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 15 - Go Wash Your Hair

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 15 - Go Wash Your Hair

Dear teenage self, 

Go wash your hair, spend a few minutes in the shower, and manage your personal hygiene. You always feel so much better after you've showered, put on deodorant, put on makeup, and dressed in clean clothes. 

Depression can steal so much from you. It can convince you that the best thing you can do for yourself is to stay in bed, wallowing in your sadness and watching endless hours of TV. That's the exact opposite of what you should be doing. 

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. 

+Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)

When you're waiting on the Lord, you must actively serve Him rather than simply wait in a closed-up room for something amazing to happen to you. Stepping out in faith will activate your blessings beyond measure. "Faith without works is like a screen door on a submarine," says Rich Mullins ("Screen Door" by Rich Mullins on YouTube). So get out of bed and go wash your hair. That's step one. 

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, sometimes I just don't feel like serving You. I want to stay in bed and nurse my wounds, avoiding the responsibilities of life. Thank You for meeting me where I am and calling me out of my depression into something better. I love You, Jesus. It's in Your name I pray. Amen. 

Get up out of bed and get to work on healing.

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 14 - Stop Allowing Others to Steal Your Peace

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 14 - Stop Allowing Others to Steal Your Peace

Dear teenage self, 

Stop allowing others to steal your peace. Your peace comes from the Lord. There will be so many distractions in this life - things that call your name and claim to be urgent or even emergent, but they need to be prioritized behind your peace and relationship with Jesus.

When first responders arrive on a call, they don't run into burning buildings or active shooter situations. They check their gear, check in with everyone on their team, ensure everyone knows the expectations, and then calmly walk into the situation and begin helping others. The reason for this is so that they maintain a calm, cool head in case the situation becomes more dangerous.

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give peace to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid."

+John 14:27 (NLV)

When you remain in the Word of God daily and remain in prayer, you are inviting the peace of God to envelop your entire being. You're setting yourself up for success so that when the time comes to address some of the pain rattling around in your broken heart, you can maintain a clear mind and access healing so much easier. You're not muddying the waters, so to speak. 

People will come to you with all kinds of nonsense in this life. Sometimes, they just want to help but don't know how. Sometimes, they want to hurt you, and their jabs are intentional. Focus on Jesus and don't even acknowledge them. Focus on the peace that comes from Jesus. 

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, thank You for the peace that surpasses all understanding. Thank You for fighting my battles when I am weak. Fill me with the Holy Spirit and bless me with Your neverending presence. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. 

Happy 18-year wedding anniversary today!

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Bonus Post - Happy 18 Year Wedding Anniversary!

3 years ago, we renewed our vows at 15 years in. Now, we're looking towards 20 years in just two more years! But we've known each other far longer than that!

We need matching T-shirts! "Anthony and Mandy, Rockin' it since 1996!"

Marriage is hard heart work. It never stops being important to choose your partner every day. You remain committed to the marriage even when you don't feel committed to each other (because falling out of love does happen). Divorce is for the weak and hard-hearted. We've been through hell and back, and we're still going strong. Absolutely NONE of that would be possible without God at the center of our marriage.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

+Matthew 19:6 (AMP)

We don't always do things well. The Lord knows we've had our share of disagreements and fights and even looked towards divorce a time or two. And we thank God that our Christian friends and family held us up in prayer and reminded us that divorce is not an option.

This is NOT a place to debate. This is a place to celebrate what the Lord has done. He has done so much in our lives since we goofy kids first met in Mr. Fulton's US History class in 1996 (and started dating in Spanish class in 1997).

It takes immense faith to step into a wedding dress and say "I will" when your heart has been shattered by everyone who was supposed to protect, guide, and love you. And it takes immense faith for a man to love a woman who has been so badly broken, trusting that her heart will heal to the point where she can embrace his love and return it.

I am both captivated and amazed by all the Lord has done in and through us. Here's to many more years of God's amazing miracles!

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 13 - Church is Far More Important Than You Think It Is

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 13 - Church is Far More Important Than You Think It Is

Dear teenage self, 

Church is far more important than you think it is. Stick with it. Stick with the friends who pray for you and encourage you through Bible Scripture. They might be a little "nutty" to you, but you're not exactly the picture of health right now. Take a moment to listen to what they're trying to tell you. In 20 years, you'll wish you had. So do it now. 

Friends can lead you astray or hurt you. Most of the people you call friends are overwhelmed by what's going on in your world. They can't help you. They don't know how and it isn't fair to ask them to. 

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. 

+Psalm 62:5 (ESV)

In your quiet moments, seek God. Bring before Him your hurting and broken heart. In the moments at church, bring your hurting and broken heart before Him and the congregation. In the moments with your friends, just relax and enjoy the goodness of God. I know that is easier said than done. Try. Focus on their laughter, their joy, and find a way to adopt it for yourself. 

You are creating a future for yourself right now in this very moment. You cannot in any way ruin the plans God has for you, however, you can choose to enjoy the journey or focus on the things that hurt you. I know it's hard, and we'll address it more tomorrow. For now, I just want you to breathe and focus on church, prayer, finding good Christian friends, and reading the Word of God. 

Your daughter, getting baptized at the same age you were when you tried to commit suicide. Look at the goodness of God! Embrace it! Praise Him! 

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, You have plans for all of our lives that are so amazing that we cannot even conceive how miraculous they are. Thank You for holding all the days of our lives in Your capable hands. Lead us all to churches that worship You and teach Your Holy Word as You wrote it, adding or subtracting nothing in the process.  In Jesus' Name. Amen. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.