Day 22 - Out In Nature

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 22 - Out In Nature

Dear teenage self, 

I have farm animals. Ducks, pigs, chickens, dogs, and cats. My property isn't big enough to host more, so that's it for now. Well, and the four kids that reside here. Nearly every day, I spend a large portion of the day outside with the animals. They're good therapy for the soul. I feel closer to God when I'm outside amongst His vast creation. 

Animals are funny creatures. There is comedy to be found in their routine if you look for it. Today, one of the pigs ran straight for the duck pond and rolled around in it, splashing the area around her. Meanwhile, the ducks ganged up and approached her, quacking angrily. They wanted their duck pond back. The pig did not care. She finished her bath and then got out. 

On the other side of the yard, the cats were chasing the chickens as part of a game. I was shouting at the cats, trying to get them to stop their game. It wasn't working. Cats are designed to chase birds, catch them, and eat them. They were just doing what God designed them to do. 

And God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds—livestock and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds.” And it was so. And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the livestock according to their kinds, and everything that creeps on the ground according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

+Genesis 1:24-25 (ESV)

I love God's creativity. If we just sit and watch nature, soaking it all in, we will feel at peace. We will find the natural rhythm of our heartbeats, slow down our thoughts, and make more time for prayer, reading of God's Word, and quiet reflection. We will come to realize that if we just have some more patience with one another, we will end up right where we always needed to be. 

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, often we try to fight against our nature and do things that seem unnatural. Sometimes this is a good thing, as in the form of developing a new discipline or spiritual habit. Please give us discernment and wisdom about the best course of action for our lives. As we take the time to sit in nature, appreciating all that You have made, bless our hearts and minds with a spirit of peace. I love You, Lord Jesus. It is in Your name I pray. Amen. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 21 - Love Those Who Hurt You

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 21 - Love Those Who Hurt You

Dear teenage self, 

Love those who hurt you. Don't allow bitterness to creep into your heart. Take a moment and sit quietly, giving your pain and anger to God the moment it begins to appear. When you finish praying, if it comes back, pray again. Don't give the devil a leg up by entertaining any thoughts of revenge, anger, bitterness, or hatred. 

When Richard Wurmbrand was freed from prison, he was asked if he hated the men who captured and tortured him. He said that no, he didn't hate them. He loved the men. Though they could never be friends, he would always pray for them to find Christ and to love them.

 This becomes even more inspiring when you find out that even the torturers ended up in jail alongside the very Christians they had tortured days prior. Communism is a dog-eat-dog way of life. To show their torturers Christ-like love, many times the Christians would volunteer to take beatings in place of their previous torturers. This opened a door in the torturers' hearts to hear the Gospel. 

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

+Romans 12:17-21 (ESV)

You've been hurt a lot. You were badly abused by those who were tasked with keeping you safe, teaching you to love, and disciplining you. That hurt broke your heart and changed the chemistry of your brain for the worse. Even today, 30 years later, I suffer from the effects of what they did. Yet...I have also found beauty in healing and loving them from afar by praying for them. You will have days where you don't hurt so much. They're coming. 

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, sometimes the hardest choice is to be loving and to give my hurt over to You. Often, I just want to take matters into my own hands and see justice right here and now. I want to lash out and show my abusers, bullies, and enemies how much they hurt me, but I know that isn't what You call me to do. Thank You for showing me, through Your own example, how I am to react to those who hurt me. Thank You for the strength that You give me each day, and the faith to trust You to take care of the things You have promised You will. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. 

On a smaller scale of loving those who hurt you - this is my daughter petting the cat that peed on her dresser this morning. Charlie is a menace, yet we love his furry little bum!

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 20 - Be Kind

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 20 - Be Kind

Dear teenage self, 

Be kind. I know it's hard sometimes to say things that don't come naturally to you, but I need you to try. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself. When unsure what kindness looks like, consider what Jesus says about others. What does Jesus say about you? 

Your self-talk is consistently cruel, which causes you to become bitter and angry with others. This anger leaches out into your personality, making you unpleasant to spend time with. I'm not telling you this in order to beat you down but to help you become self-aware. Negativity repels others. 

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 

+Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)

Don't make a habit of negativity, bitterness, anger, or unkindness. Practice saying kind words to yourself and others. Look for things to like about yourself and the people around you, then verbalize those qualities in a compliment. Make it a daily challenge to say twelve kind things to others and twelve to yourself. Spend time in God's Word, studying what God thinks about you. Immerse yourself in love and kindness. 

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, it's hard to be kind when many insults are thrown at me daily. The bullying, abuse, and trauma I have endured make me feel bitter, hurt, sad, and angry. Sometimes, it is much easier to lash out at others than to speak kind words to them. Please guide me to the sections of Your Holy Word that point out practical ways to show love and kindness to myself and others. Thank You for being a perfect example of forgiveness, love, kindness, and mercy. I love You, Jesus. It is in Your holy name that I pray. Amen. 

I wish I could share the Heavenly smell of these roses with you, brothers and sisters in Christ. They smell amazing. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 19 - God Is Always Bigger

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 19 - God Is Always Bigger

Dear teenage self, 

I have seen the results firsthand of suicide. I have experienced the heartbreak every day for nearly a year now. Two of my dear friends made a suicide pact last year. One of them died, and one of them is presumed alive but nowhere to be found. My heart breaks anew each day, missing them both. 

My last words with one of them weren't kind, though, at the time, I thought I was doing the kindest thing possible by sharing the Word of God with them. The problem is that my attitude behind sharing those words was neither kind nor loving. I did not realize it until later - when it was too late. 

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary set of problems that seem too big for you or anyone else to handle. But here's what I want you to spend a long time - years if that's what it takes - ruminating on - God is bigger than all of our problems, no matter how big they appear. 

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

+Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)

I wish I could hug my friends again. I wish I could tell them I am sorry for the unkind words in person. I wish to thank them for being so kind and loving to my family and me. I wish I could minister to their needs. I wish all kinds of things, but none of them are likely to come to fruition. The emotions I feel surrounding the loss of my friends are complex, painful, and lasting. Suicide is not the answer. It never is. But do you know what the actual answer to all of life's problems is? 

JESUS. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.