Day 5 - Watch the Company You Keep

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 5 - Watch the Company You Keep

Dear teenage self, 

Some of the people you're hanging out with are detrimental to your mental and spiritual health. So much of what you do is learned behavior.  You so desperately want to be healed, happy, and normal. You want to belong. You're willing to cut class, smoke with your friends, drink alcohol, and continue to defy every authority figure in your life. 

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

+1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

Every time the Holy Spirit convicts you, you shut it out and ignore the voices you need to hear. Not all authority seeks to harm you. Not all friends are equal. Sometimes you become angry with the friends who set boundaries with you. Stop doing that. Those are the people who truly care about you. The ones who encourage you to deny "all that Jesus stuff" are not going to be your friends even a year from now. If you continue down this path, you will feel even more lonely than you do now. Sadly, you won't realize this until it's too late. 

Compromising your values will make the road to healing so much harder. You're going to struggle for many years, and then look back on this time and think "If only I had listened to..." I'm asking you to listen to the Word of God now and make different decisions for your future self. 

Let's Pray

Dear Jesus. I've made many bad decisions and listened to people I shouldn't have. When You have tried to guide me, I insisted on going my own way, even cursing Your name in the process. I cared more about what others thought of me than what You do. Please forgive me and lead me to a group of Christians who truly love You and will be good company for me. You are on the throne. You are my God. In all things, I want to honor You. It is in Your Holy name I pray. Amen. 

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
+Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 4 - Pearls Before Swine

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 4

Dear teenage self, 

You're misinterpreting scripture. I know you are stuck on the scripture from Exodus 20 that tells you to honor your father and mother. Stop. In this case, it doesn't look the way you think it should. Your parents are not going to choose healing for themselves, and instead are going to transfer blame for their pain onto you. To continue a relationship with them is to deny your mental health, sacrifice your relationship with God, and create long-term trauma for yourself beyond what you've already experienced. 

“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces."

+Matthew 7:6 (NKJV)

You don't realize this now, but in 20 years, you will break free from their clutches and start to heal. The peace you receive from severing this relationship will be like nothing you've ever known. You will be free. 

Jesus is walking with you through everything, even when you don't feel Him. Turn to Him now and trust Him with your pain and your healing.  He is capable. He is willing. He is waiting. 

You finally made it to NYC for your 41st birthday and it was everything and more you've ever dreamed of.

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 3 - Sometimes All You Want to Do Is Sleep

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 3

Dear teenage self, 

Sometimes all you want to do is sleep. I get it. You're exhausted, and facing one more day is just too overwhelming. Your entire body just wants to shut down and sleep the day away. Every decision you try to make seems like too much. You literally "can't even" today.

Let me offer you a different perspective. You're exhausted because you've been in survival mode for so long that you've forgotten you are not alone. The outcome of today does not rely upon you to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Jesus is right there with you, ready to carry the burden. Will you set it down and turn to Him today?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

+Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

There is no one who understands you more than Jesus, and there is no one more capable of helping you, healing you, and guiding you than Jesus. Will you pray with me?

Heavenly Father, I am so tired and overwhelmed today. It would be so easy for me to remain in bed and shut the world out. I'm exhausted physically, mentally, and spiritually. I don't feel like I have what it takes to go on. I need You, Jesus. I hand over the reins of my life to You. You are my God. You are on the throne. Lead the way, Jesus, as I step out in faith. Thank You for being a safe place for me to rest, and for being the motivation to keep going even when I think I cannot. It's in Your Holy name, Jesus, that I pray. Amen.

Sleepy Fred

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 2 - You Think You Are Unworthy of Love

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 2

Dear teenage self, 

You think you are unworthy of love. You look in the mirror and loathe everything you see.  You're picking yourself completely apart and missing the point entirely. You are beautiful just the way God made you. He didn't make a mistake. 

You feel uncomfortable in your body because someone abused you. Someone else took advantage of your youth, vulnerability, and naivete. The shame does not belong to you. It never did. Put it down and do not pick it back up again. You are worthy of love. You are loved by the perfect God who created you, knit you together in your mother's womb, and cares for you each day of your life.  

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

+Matthew 18:6 (NIV)

Pray with me. 

Dear Jesus, It's hard for me to see myself as You do. It's easier for me to open a magazine, turn on the television, or look at models online and compare myself to them. I often feel discouraged because I find so many flaws within myself. On top of all that, I feel uncomfortable in this body that someone else abused. Sometimes I feel ashamed and want to run away, but I can never get away from myself. Wherever I go, there I am. I thank You, Jesus, that You are always where I am. You give me comfort and You heal me in unexpected ways. Today I ask You to show Your unending love for me and help me to see myself as You see me. I'm scared to take this leap, but I know You are with me, giving me the necessary things to succeed. It's in Your Holy name I pray, Jesus. Amen. 

Author, Mandy, age 40. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 1 - You Fear the World, Don't You?

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 1 

Dear teenage self, 

You fear the world, don’t you? You think everyone and everything is out to get you. That is a lie that is cemented in your head, and it will not leave you until you decide to look up. No, not at the sky – at Jesus. It is hard to look up, isn’t it? It requires bravery.  

There is so much that you are allowing to hold you back. You feel out of control, but you have more control over your life than you think you do. I challenge you today to be brave and to look upwards to the sky. Soak it all in – the colors, the vastness of it, the way you feel small and insignificant. Sit with all of it for a few moments, and then I want you to consider an unfamiliar perspective – you are deeply, passionately, unconditionally loved by Jesus Christ.  

Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: 

Forget your people and your father’s house. 

Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; 

honor him, for he is your lord. 

+Psalm 45:10,11 (NIV) 

The LORD (Yahweh) is calling you to Himself. He desires to heal you and offer you a new life. Will you listen to Him? Will you let Him in and allow Him to love you? Pray with me.  

Heavenly Father, I am scared to heal. Painful chaos is my normal. Love and kindness feel strange to me, and I am not sure if I can trust those around me who say that they love me. I am having trouble taking You at Your Word, but I am at the end of my rope. This pain is too great, Lord. Please take it from me and lead me gently into healing. I am scared, but I know that You only want the best for me. Give me Your faith so that I can trust You more and lean into Your healing and Your love. In Jesus’s Name. Amen.  

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Daily Devotions - Letters to My Teenage Self

One of the greatest aspects of Christianity is Jesus' ability to take any amount of darkness and pain and immediately speak Light into the darkness, healing the pain. With just mere Words from Jesus, entire lives are transformed. 

Because we walk with Jesus and are called to be His hands and feet and offer the same encouragement to others that we receive, I've decided to take this platform and transform it from something that merely shares my own experiences, to something that shares God's Word each day while encouraging growth and a personal relationship with Jesus. I pray that this finds the people who need it the most and that it encourages you to dig deeper into your walk with Jesus. 

If this is the first time you've ever considered a walk with Jesus, please allow me to introduce you to Him. He is a God of absolutes. He will never leave you. He will never forsake you. His desire is never to harm you. He always loves you. He always desires the best for you. He will always tell you the truth. He will never lie to you. 

Jesus loves you so much that He humbled Himself, and came to earth, born of a Virgin, from Heaven. He spent roughly 33 years on earth ministering to us, showing us how God desires us to live while abstaining perfectly from sin. Though He knew no sin, He became sin when we accused Him of falsely claiming to be our God. He took our verbal abuse, our insults, our physical torment, and our ultimate punishment - death, and died upon the cross. Three days later, He proved to the world that He conquered death by rising again. He now resides in Heaven but will come again in Glory to take all of us who believe in Him and call on His name for salvation, to Heaven to live in eternal Glory with Him.

If you recognize your sin, the burden of it, and want to lean into a deeper relationship with Jesus, I encourage you to reach out to Him now, praying aloud: 

Jesus. I want to know You. I don't want to live without You even one more day. Please forgive me for all that I have done and said against you. I need You. In Your Name, I pray, Jesus. Amen. 

I also encourage you to memorize the Lord's Prayer. It contains everything you need for a complete prayer each day. 

Our Father who resides in heaven,

Holy is Your name.

Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us,

and lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power, and the glory,

forever and ever.

Amen.

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

Pictures of my teenage self 

1998-2001