You're busy. I'm busy. It's FRI-YAY! We all have things to do. I get that. I respect that. I'm going to reiterate a post from earlier where I gave you five simple tips to remember during the holidays. Ready for it? Here it is.
Manage Expectations. You can only control yourself. Everyone else is responsible for their own behaviors, attitudes, habits, and actions.
Set healthy boundaries. Know your limits and set healthy boundaries.
Self-care. Have a list ready to go of all the ways you can prevent, combat and/or navigate through holiday anxiety before it sets in.
Communicate clearly. Have food allergies? Let the host know. The biggest misconception about communication is that it has already occurred. Make it happen.
Prayer. Begin, end, and center your day around prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving. God first, y'all!
That's it! Have an awesome day and remember - I love you, but more importantly - God loves you! Happy Veteran's Day to all of our National Treasures!
HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!
Stay tuned for another episode. I aim to crank out the blog posts three times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/
Is the wind blowing hard, fast and cold where you're at, too? Brr. Baby, it's cold outside! Hopefully, it's not cold inside your home, too. Or your heart. It can be so easy to turn cold and isolate ourselves during the holiday season. The crowds are insane. It's even difficult to navigate the grocery store these days. Every rainy day, folks run to the grocery store, supermarkets, department stores - you name it. It can be really overwhelming to just get through a typical outing. So what do we do about that?
My primary concern when crowds are an issue is finding my safe person or location. I need an "out" at all times, or I will feel trapped and overwhelmed. What does an animal do when they're feeling trapped? They panic, become physically aggressive, and do whatever it takes to try to free themselves. We are not wild animals, though.
For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them. -2 Timothy 1:7 (TLB)
When we make prayer our primary habit for the day, we will see an increase in our healing. I know that I sound like a broken record when I consistently remind you to read your Bible and to pray, but it's because I know for a fact that it really does work better than anything else. Exposing ourselves to the healing power of God's Holy, perfect, infallible, inerrant Word is absolutely the best medicine there is. Couple that with prayer, and you'll find yourself moving mountains before long. (This isn't to say that you may not still require traditional medicine! I'm simply saying to put God first, and then go forward for the most effective healing).
God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control. -2Timothy 1:7 (NCV)
There are so many things we need or want to do during the holidays, but having a panic attack surely isn't one of them. With a little planning, some talk therapy (with a licensed counselor, clergy, trusted family member or friend), and a whole lot of Jesus, I believe we will all be better off and more prepared for whatever life throws at us.
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. -2 Timothy 1:7 (NIVUK)
Memorizing scripture can also be helpful. I remember the agonizing week I was in labor and trying to deliver (naturally) my fourth baby. I was so determined not to undergo a fourth cesarean. I memorized Isaiah 26:3 (NIV) which states " You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." I did not get my natural delivery, but I did recite that verse all throughout my cesarean. It was the best one I'd ever had and I still have wonderful memories of it, even though for the two obstetricians, it was an absolute nightmare and I nearly died on the table. God kept me in perfect peace (maybe because they both spoke Russian the entire time? 🤣).
for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline. -2 Timothy 1:7 (NRSVA)
For you - and everyone who is hurting this holiday season, I wish you peace, comfort, and love. I wish for moist turkeys, pillowy mounds of mashed potatoes, delicious green bean casserole (my favorite), and sweet pies a la mode. I wish for you - and I pray for you to grow closer to Christ, grow in love and grace and, to have the strength to share His Word with those who need to know Him.
Also, pick some of these up the next time you're grocery shopping. YUM!
Stay tuned for another episode. I aim to crank out the blog posts three times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/
Happy November! The holidays are fast approaching. Thanksgiving is less than three weeks away, and just a month after that, we will celebrate Christmas and then the New Year. For some, this year went by quickly - others are happy to see this year come to a close and are hopeful for a new start in 2023. Wherever you stand, the fact is that the holidays are coming and they can be a source of stress for many.
Successful holidays require some planning. Every family has some sort of conflict or drama, whether it be little or big. Navigating Thanksgiving can be made a bit easier by putting a safety plan in place for those of us with anxiety, PTSD and CPTSD. I'm going to offer five tips to make the holidays go a little smoother for you.
First, make sure that you manage your expectations. We can only control our own behavior. We can guide or advise others into making healthy or different decisions, but we cannot force it. Everyone has their personal limits of what they can do, and what they absolutely cannot. That's okay. It's very human to have limits. Remember that you have them, too. When we place expectations upon others, especially unspoken ones, we are liable to become disappointed. Better to manage your expectations now, and reserve some grace for yourself and others in your life.
Secondly, evaluate how much time you are willing or able to spend with your family. Are they full of drama and set your recovery back? Then you don't need to feel bad or guilty about limiting your exposure to them. Your goal is to become healthier, not to simply please everyone else at your own expense. Be okay with setting boundaries on your time and personal space.
The third thing I want you to remember is that no matter what, you need to have a plan in place for self care. Write it down now, while you're thinking clearly and share it with your safe person. Maybe that's a spouse? Your friend? Cousin? Mom? Sibling? Whoever it is, share it with them, so that they are able to better support you. By pre-planning moments of self care into the stressful times in life, we're better able to manage our own behaviors and enjoy the season more.
One of the things I plan to do for Thanksgiving is to pre-plan my portion of the day. I know that I will be doing most of the cooking, so I'm taking the time to plan the menu, the cooking and baking times, and setting self-care opportunities in the midst of that schedule. For example, when I start dressing the turkey to go into the oven, I'm also going to prep all the similar ingredients for other dishes. Then, I'll have a gap of time in between putting the turkey in the oven and making other dishes. I'll use that time to shower, dress, and put on makeup for the day. Later, I'll take a pocket of time to spend some time alone in a quiet Bible study.
Be sure to plan too many activities to do in one day. This way, you'll have choices, and you'll feel less panicked, knowing there's a plan in place. If you do experience a panic attack, it's likely that with this plan in place, it won't be as bad as expected because you'll have a written plan in place to reference. Remember, when we're in the midst of a panic attack, we're not able to think or plan clearly. This is where a pre-written plan really comes into place and helps us shine.
Fourth, make sure to communicate clearly beforehand with everyone who is a safe person to you, and make sure that your needs and wants are also heard and met. If you have food allergies or sensitivities, make sure the host knows. If you have pet allergies, don't be afraid to speak up. If you need special accomodations for any reason, please speak up and make sure your needs are met. If you ever find yourself in a place where your needs are not being met and it's clear that it's intentional on the other person's part that they are refusing to meet your needs, be okay with leaving that situation politely and going somewhere else where you feel comfortable and safe.
Fifth and finally - every great holiday season begins and ends with a lot of prayer and thanksgiving to God. God wants to hear our anxieties. He cares deeply for us. He cares for our family, as well. Even the annoying, drama filled, anxiety causing ones. 🙂 Give thanks to God for all that is going well, and keep looking for moments to give thanks. Don't forget to pray in moments of trial. He is with you then, too. Our God is a God of absolutes, and that gives me so much peace. He never leaves us. He never forsakes us. He always loves us. He is always with us.
The holidays can be stressful, but they don't have to be so stressful that you can barely function. Take some time now to plan some boundaries, write down some ways you can keep yourself healthy, and start communicating with all the safe people in your life. You'd be surprised how many people care and want to see you succeed. And remember, I love you. More importantly - God loves you!
Stay tuned for another episode. I aim to crank out the blog posts three times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/
