Day 22 - Out In Nature

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 22 - Out In Nature

Dear teenage self, 

I have farm animals. Ducks, pigs, chickens, dogs, and cats. My property isn't big enough to host more, so that's it for now. Well, and the four kids that reside here. Nearly every day, I spend a large portion of the day outside with the animals. They're good therapy for the soul. I feel closer to God when I'm outside amongst His vast creation. 

Animals are funny creatures. There is comedy to be found in their routine if you look for it. Today, one of the pigs ran straight for the duck pond and rolled around in it, splashing the area around her. Meanwhile, the ducks ganged up and approached her, quacking angrily. They wanted their duck pond back. The pig did not care. She finished her bath and then got out. 

On the other side of the yard, the cats were chasing the chickens as part of a game. I was shouting at the cats, trying to get them to stop their game. It wasn't working. Cats are designed to chase birds, catch them, and eat them. They were just doing what God designed them to do. 

And God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds—livestock and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds.” And it was so. And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the livestock according to their kinds, and everything that creeps on the ground according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

+Genesis 1:24-25 (ESV)

I love God's creativity. If we just sit and watch nature, soaking it all in, we will feel at peace. We will find the natural rhythm of our heartbeats, slow down our thoughts, and make more time for prayer, reading of God's Word, and quiet reflection. We will come to realize that if we just have some more patience with one another, we will end up right where we always needed to be. 

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, often we try to fight against our nature and do things that seem unnatural. Sometimes this is a good thing, as in the form of developing a new discipline or spiritual habit. Please give us discernment and wisdom about the best course of action for our lives. As we take the time to sit in nature, appreciating all that You have made, bless our hearts and minds with a spirit of peace. I love You, Lord Jesus. It is in Your name I pray. Amen. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 21 - Love Those Who Hurt You

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 21 - Love Those Who Hurt You

Dear teenage self, 

Love those who hurt you. Don't allow bitterness to creep into your heart. Take a moment and sit quietly, giving your pain and anger to God the moment it begins to appear. When you finish praying, if it comes back, pray again. Don't give the devil a leg up by entertaining any thoughts of revenge, anger, bitterness, or hatred. 

When Richard Wurmbrand was freed from prison, he was asked if he hated the men who captured and tortured him. He said that no, he didn't hate them. He loved the men. Though they could never be friends, he would always pray for them to find Christ and to love them.

 This becomes even more inspiring when you find out that even the torturers ended up in jail alongside the very Christians they had tortured days prior. Communism is a dog-eat-dog way of life. To show their torturers Christ-like love, many times the Christians would volunteer to take beatings in place of their previous torturers. This opened a door in the torturers' hearts to hear the Gospel. 

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

+Romans 12:17-21 (ESV)

You've been hurt a lot. You were badly abused by those who were tasked with keeping you safe, teaching you to love, and disciplining you. That hurt broke your heart and changed the chemistry of your brain for the worse. Even today, 30 years later, I suffer from the effects of what they did. Yet...I have also found beauty in healing and loving them from afar by praying for them. You will have days where you don't hurt so much. They're coming. 

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, sometimes the hardest choice is to be loving and to give my hurt over to You. Often, I just want to take matters into my own hands and see justice right here and now. I want to lash out and show my abusers, bullies, and enemies how much they hurt me, but I know that isn't what You call me to do. Thank You for showing me, through Your own example, how I am to react to those who hurt me. Thank You for the strength that You give me each day, and the faith to trust You to take care of the things You have promised You will. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. 

On a smaller scale of loving those who hurt you - this is my daughter petting the cat that peed on her dresser this morning. Charlie is a menace, yet we love his furry little bum!

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 20 - Be Kind

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 20 - Be Kind

Dear teenage self, 

Be kind. I know it's hard sometimes to say things that don't come naturally to you, but I need you to try. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself. When unsure what kindness looks like, consider what Jesus says about others. What does Jesus say about you? 

Your self-talk is consistently cruel, which causes you to become bitter and angry with others. This anger leaches out into your personality, making you unpleasant to spend time with. I'm not telling you this in order to beat you down but to help you become self-aware. Negativity repels others. 

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 

+Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)

Don't make a habit of negativity, bitterness, anger, or unkindness. Practice saying kind words to yourself and others. Look for things to like about yourself and the people around you, then verbalize those qualities in a compliment. Make it a daily challenge to say twelve kind things to others and twelve to yourself. Spend time in God's Word, studying what God thinks about you. Immerse yourself in love and kindness. 

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, it's hard to be kind when many insults are thrown at me daily. The bullying, abuse, and trauma I have endured make me feel bitter, hurt, sad, and angry. Sometimes, it is much easier to lash out at others than to speak kind words to them. Please guide me to the sections of Your Holy Word that point out practical ways to show love and kindness to myself and others. Thank You for being a perfect example of forgiveness, love, kindness, and mercy. I love You, Jesus. It is in Your holy name that I pray. Amen. 

I wish I could share the Heavenly smell of these roses with you, brothers and sisters in Christ. They smell amazing. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 19 - God Is Always Bigger

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 19 - God Is Always Bigger

Dear teenage self, 

I have seen the results firsthand of suicide. I have experienced the heartbreak every day for nearly a year now. Two of my dear friends made a suicide pact last year. One of them died, and one of them is presumed alive but nowhere to be found. My heart breaks anew each day, missing them both. 

My last words with one of them weren't kind, though, at the time, I thought I was doing the kindest thing possible by sharing the Word of God with them. The problem is that my attitude behind sharing those words was neither kind nor loving. I did not realize it until later - when it was too late. 

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary set of problems that seem too big for you or anyone else to handle. But here's what I want you to spend a long time - years if that's what it takes - ruminating on - God is bigger than all of our problems, no matter how big they appear. 

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

+Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)

I wish I could hug my friends again. I wish I could tell them I am sorry for the unkind words in person. I wish to thank them for being so kind and loving to my family and me. I wish I could minister to their needs. I wish all kinds of things, but none of them are likely to come to fruition. The emotions I feel surrounding the loss of my friends are complex, painful, and lasting. Suicide is not the answer. It never is. But do you know what the actual answer to all of life's problems is? 

JESUS. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 18 - God Is Not Angry With You

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 18 - God Is Not Angry With You

Dear teenage self, 

God is not angry with you. He knows you're scared and often feel unsafe. He sees you in your pain and recognizes that you're still learning and growing. God is infinitely more patient with you than you are with yourself.

It's hard to feel safe when all around you, people are engaging in unsafe behaviors that put you at risk. Of course you're going to react like a scared raccoon caught in a cage. That's how our brains work when we're terrified and can't find a safe place to be. God sees this. He knows this.

For God has not chosen to pour out his anger upon us but to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ; he died for us so that we can live with him forever, whether we are dead or alive at the time of his return.  

+1 Thesasalonians 5:9-10 (TLB)

 

God is very patient with us. He desires that we heal, that we are saved, that we are made strong through Him. He desires eternity with us. Lean into Jesus today, embrace the gift of His salvation and live with Him forever. 

Let's Pray

Lord Jesus Christ, sometimes it's hard to embrace the gift of Your salvation and to trust that You are not enraged with me, especially when I am scared of my surroundings and act out. I know that my behavior is not always pleasing to You and I am sorry for that. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit and guide me along still waters so that I may drink in Your peace and find healing. I desire to live forever with You. It is in Your name I pray. Amen. 

These new goslings are being protected and guided by their parents at Sundial Bridge Park along the Sacramento River. How sweet. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 17 - God is a God of Absolutes

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 17 - God is a God of Absolutes

Dear teenage self, 

God will never leave you nor forsake you. He is a God of absolutes. He always loves you, never leaves you, never lies to you, always says what He means, and can be trusted at all times. He will never make promises He doesn't intend to honor. He is your everything. 

So often, you feel afraid that your needs will not be met, that you're too much for the Lord to handle, and that you will ultimately disappoint Him to the point where even God will abandon you. That simply is not true. You are not too much for Him. Be assured that you are safe in this place and have a future richer than your current situation. 

And my God will fulfill your every need according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

 +Philippians 4:19 (LEB)

Richard Wurmbrand spent eight years in prison for his faith, three of them in solitary confinement, never seeing another human being other than his captors. During that time, he often sang to the Lord and prayed with the angels he knew surrounded him. Sometimes, he said he could sense the Lord in the light amongst the shadows on the walls of his cell. His need for love, encouragement, and spiritual fulfillment was always met, even in the absolute worst situations. 

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, You are always good. You can always be trusted. Thank You for remaining by my side even when I don't feel You near. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. 

One of my favorite books. It reminds me to stay humble, stay close to the Lord, and never waiver on my belief that God is all we need.

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 16 - You Are Beautiful Just the Way You Are

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 16 - You Are Beautiful Just the Way You Are

Dear teenage self, 

You are beautiful, just the way you are. All around you, girls are experimenting with makeup, hair products, self-tanner, diets for weight loss, and fashion choices. Sometimes, you compare yourself to others, making you feel bad. You were never meant to look like all of the other girls. You were made to be you. 

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 

+1 Peter 3:3-4 (ESV)

Focus on the internal work of beautifying your heart, letting God take hold of it, and transforming it as you renew your mind. Focus on the Word of God, prayer, meditating on the Word of God, and breaking down walls in your heart that separate you from Jesus. Those are the beauty treatments that will serve you well all the days of your life. 

Let's Pray

Jesus, I need You. Sometimes I get so caught up in the world, wanting to conform to beauty standards of those around me. I often forget that You care far more about the state of my heart than the brand of shoes on my feet or the color of mascara on my lashes. I confess that I have sinned against You with my vanity. Thank You for filling me with the Holy Spirit, convicting me, and setting me free so I can go and sin no more. I love You, Jesus. It is in Your Holy name that I pray. Amen. 

We are beautiful because we are His.

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

Day 15 - Go Wash Your Hair

Letters to my teenage self 

A Devotional for Trauma Survivors 

Day 15 - Go Wash Your Hair

Dear teenage self, 

Go wash your hair, spend a few minutes in the shower, and manage your personal hygiene. You always feel so much better after you've showered, put on deodorant, put on makeup, and dressed in clean clothes. 

Depression can steal so much from you. It can convince you that the best thing you can do for yourself is to stay in bed, wallowing in your sadness and watching endless hours of TV. That's the exact opposite of what you should be doing. 

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. 

+Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)

When you're waiting on the Lord, you must actively serve Him rather than simply wait in a closed-up room for something amazing to happen to you. Stepping out in faith will activate your blessings beyond measure. "Faith without works is like a screen door on a submarine," says Rich Mullins ("Screen Door" by Rich Mullins on YouTube). So get out of bed and go wash your hair. That's step one. 

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, sometimes I just don't feel like serving You. I want to stay in bed and nurse my wounds, avoiding the responsibilities of life. Thank You for meeting me where I am and calling me out of my depression into something better. I love You, Jesus. It's in Your name I pray. Amen. 

Get up out of bed and get to work on healing.

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.