Pulled Into Letting Go

Monday, January 30, 2023

OUT OF CONTROL AND OUT OF OPTIONS

You may or may not have seen my Facebook post yesterday. In it, I talked about the recent car accident I was in that totaled my family's one vehicle. I was not at fault, and the other driver has been very hard to reach. Even tougher, has been getting a hold of her insurance company to find out how to obtain a rental car. In this whole mess, I've been struggling with a complete loss of control over the situation. I can't get my husband to work, my son to school, or myself to various doctor appointments this week. It's very frustrating and I don't like the feeling of not being in control. In the process of all this, I'm reminded of Job from the Bible.

I was T-Boned, and her car pushed me 20+ feet
back into the turn lane. The front end of her car
was inside my front end. My tie rods snapped
and were broken, hood and bumper crunched.

Job never needed answers from God. He thought he did, so when he got the chance to confront God, he asked Him many things. God didn't give Job answers, because they wouldn't have helped. What Job needed, he received. Job needed faith to trust that all he went through served a bigger purpose. In the end, Job was rewarded for his faithfulness and Satan left him alone.

In life, we face many trials that don't seem to make a whole lot of sense at the time. We cry, we pray, we plead with God for answers. Sometimes things just seem so damn unfair! There is an entire battle going on in the spiritual realm that we can't see and often know absolutely nothing about. God knows. Like Job, we need more faith to trust that all the trials and tribulations we go through are for a purpose far bigger than we are able to comprehend.

It makes no sense to me that Saul became Paul just to be persecuted all the days of his ministerial life. Paul did all that God asked, even when he knew he was going to be harmed in the process. That's true faithfulness, isn't it? So why didn't we see Paul receive his reward here on earth like Job did?

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

+1 Corinthians 9:19-27 (NIV)

Paul's treasures were never here on earth. They resided in Heaven, which is why he gave up his entire life, willingly, to secure his treasure in Heaven and encouraged others to do the same. His life is a gift and a treasure to us all. We can reap wisdom from his efforts still to this day. We can draw strength from his example. Jesus was Paul's strength. Paul, a mere man, was often weak and placed in situations where he was absolutely not in control. Yet he prospered in nearly all that he did, because he had faith and relied on God to provide all that he needed. No matter how many times Paul was knocked down, he got back up again. (the link attached is my attempt at humor. I'm a child of the 90's. 😉 )

As I pursue the other driver's insurance company to pay what they owe and help my family get back on our feet, I simply have to trust God to fill in the gaps where I'm absolutely unable to do more than I already have. I can call the insurance agent again and again. I can plead my case, provide documentation, follow through, and keep praying about the situation, and that's about it right now. It's out of my hands. I was never in control from the moment the other driver disobeyed traffic rules and hit me, to this moment right now, where I'm waiting, waiting, waiting for results.

Everything seems unfair. I've been playing back the sequence of events of that night, starting from the moment I left my driveway, over and over in my head. There wasn't anything I could change on my end without knowing the ultimate result ahead of time, which is impossible. The only explanation I can come up with is that this has always been in God's hands and I simply have to trust Him. When I start to sin and become frustrated because I'm not in control, I have to go back to Him and plead for more faith. This is a test, maybe. What I do know for sure is that this entire trial serves a purpose far bigger than I'm capable of ever understanding. To God be the glory. May my actions in this time of waiting and figuring things out, glorify His Holy Name.Amen.

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

FORGIVENESS IS NEVER FOR THEM

Happy Hump Day! We've made it to the halfway point in the week, folks. For some of us, that's a great accomplishment, and celebrating that is okay. Sometimes we have to take life minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. When our heart is broken, when we're ill, when we're in the midst of conflict, life is infinitely more difficult, isn't it? So go easy on yourself today. Celebrate the small wins. It's not silly. It's survival.

This morning I have kept busy so far by folding what I like to refer to as "Mount Washmore" - a pile of laundry so big it was falling off my six-foot couch. It only two days to get that big. I still have more laundry to wash, dry, fold, and put away. To be fair, a fair amount of the size was due to blankets, towels, and bulky clothing like jeans and sweats, but I digress. It kept me busy for a good hour and a half. Next, I'm tackling kitchen organization and decluttering. Fun.

As I'm keeping busy keeping my home, I'm also utilizing mundane tasks to think deeply about the past, present, and future. I'm a strong believer that history repeats itself and we need to learn from the past in order to move forward successfully in a healthy manner. We can't stuff the problems of the past in a closet and walk away. They have to be dealt with.

One issue I've been thinking a lot about is forgiveness. That pesky word keeps popping up. There is always a need for forgiveness. We are all sinners and even if we're not the ones doling out forgiveness, we're still dealing with it in some way. Personally, I'm prone to holding grudges. There is a gal from High School I have enjoyed disliking for 25 years. How petty is that? It's even uglier to see it written out like this. It's time for me to forgive and fully let it go.

What about all the big stuff? How do we forgive that? I have a simple answer, but it requires faith, trust, and work. You ready? Jesus. Jesus is the simple answer. Consider His ultimate sacrifice for us and our sins. He was totally blameless, yet took on all the punishment for our sins. We are to be like Jesus, so you do the math. We must forgive.

Forgiveness is a daily choice for me, and sometimes hourly. When I'm really focusing on forgiveness, I have to take it minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, and be very intentional about guarding and leading my heart. Sometimes I have to find a quiet place and sit with big feelings, talking things out with God. Often, I have to spend an extended amount of time in the Word, allowing the Holy Spirit to work within me, convicting me of sin, and prompting me to repent.

Sitting with big feelings can be really scary and it takes a lot of practice. Don't try to go it alone. Invite God to sit with you through them, and don't be shy about talking to Him as you work through things. If you feel silly or unable to talk, then write Him a letter. It's okay if you can't or don't finish. The point is to start. You will thank yourself later for this.

Christian therapy can really help as well. I don't recommend secular talk therapy for the most part. It can be helpful, but if the therapist isn't willing to allow your religion into the mix, it's going to backfire and cause more issues later on down the line. Unfortunately, I know from experience. I had a therapist once tell me to stop talking about God because "He's a myth" and talking about it made her uncomfortable. Another time, I had a psychiatrist tell me that Christianity is the basis for all mental health issues and outright refused to treat me. He then went on to tote the "positive" aspects of Buddhism.

Your Pastor is an excellent resource for locating help. If he is unable to direct you to a licensed Christian counselor, often he will know of someone who can. Many Pastors meet regularly with the other Pastors in their area to encourage each other and to ask for help with resources their congregants need. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help when needed. At the very least, your Pastor will likely commit to pray for you and that's a huge relief in and of itself. Prayer is both the least and the most we can do for others.

Remember, you can do hard things. So can I. We can do them together and we can do them with Jesus, but we cannot complete them alone. Jesus is the simple answer to all of our issues, all of our problems, and all of our questions.

Keep Moving Forward