You're so angry with the world around you that bitterness is leaking from your pores. Every time you open your mouth to speak, your words start another wildfire that will not be easy to put out. There are brief moments in time when you feel you can control yourself and others when you just speak before you think.
For most of your life, no one has listened to you. Throughout the duration of the abuse, you were telling people what was happening as it happened. Your Mother suppressed your voice, asking you to be quiet because the message you were conveying wasn't pleasant. Your grandmother asked you to be quiet about it because the message you were conveying didn't match her vision for the legacy she was creating. Your teachers asked you to be quiet because your message wasn't appropriate for other little ears. The cops asked you to be quiet because they also didn't want their secrets told.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
+Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
The hardest part of your healing has been to reconcile the fact that Jesus has never left you, even when you were being raped and abused. He saw everything and is angry with your rapists and your abusers. He saw everything and cried right along with you. He saw everything and walked with you through it, giving you strength when you had none. He carried you when you could barely stand on your own two feet. He will never leave you. He will never forsake you.
You have never been shamed for these horrific acts. You spent years claiming it, hiding away in a proverbial den of shame. Finally, you accepted that the shame belongs to those who committed those shameful acts, and you began to embrace freedom. Keep moving forward. It only gets better from here.
Let's Pray
Heavenly Father, I will never understand why or how people can commit such atrocious acts against others, especially defenseless children. Help us all see Your light, love, and healing, even in the darkest times. Bring that which is currently in the darkness into light and free abused people from their abusers. Bring justice to the unjust situations in life. You are always good, and You never condone evil. I love You, Lord Jesus. It's in Your Holy and precious name, I pray. Amen.
Just as Fred hugs his teddy bear, Jesus hugs you when you cry.
Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/
You have much to offer the world, yet you refuse to shine your light. I understand that you feel depressed, hopeless, and suicidal. You feel there is no hope for change and you are stuck in your current circumstances. Being a teenager is really hard. To quote Britney Spears, you're "not a girl, not yet a woman". That is a hard place to be. Yet there is power within you, waiting to be harnessed.
No one can take your faith from you. No one can steal your hope unless you allow them to. That sounds infinitely easier to say than to put into practice. It is. But you're not alone. You have the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and God the Father with you. They will never leave you, nor forsake you. They will give you the strength you need to carry on.
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.
+Psalm 34: 17-20 (ESV)
There will come a time in your life when you're able to look back at this time and see all that the Lord had His hand in. You'll look back, amazed at all that you survived, and you will give thanks. The way you feel right now is temporary. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you delete yourself from humanity today, you'll never see what your future could be. You'll never experience the freedom of adulthood. You'll be lying by saying to the world and yourself that God is not enough. He is. He absolutely is.
This photo was taken 12/27/2023. You went to NYC 04/12/2024. At the time this photo was taken, you had no idea your lifelong dream of visiting NYC would occur. This is just another example of having hope for things unseen in the future. Keep moving forward. The Lord has so many good things waiting for you!
Let's Pray
Dear Lord, I pray in Jesus' name that You would forgive me for the times I've focused more on my current circumstances than Your goodness. Sometimes I get so caught up in my feelings, that I forget the Truth. You are enough. You are everything. In You, I live and move and have my being - my reason for living. I love You, Lord. Amen.
Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/
