Healing Takes Time

Healing takes time. You can actively take steps to facilitate it, but you cannot will it into existence any faster than it's meant to happen. As I heal from the trauma of childhood, more and more little issues crop up that I need to heal from. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming. Other times, it feels frustrating, and at times, I am simply sad. There is such a complexity to healing that even I don't fully understand what it all entails. Thankfully, God does. 

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. 

- Psalm 23:1 (NLT)

One of the avenues towards healing that has been the most helpful for me is to reduce my stress load. Often that looks like isolation to some folks, but it isn't. It's careful consideration of who I allow in my space to occupy my time and brain space. It's setting firm boundaries and making sure to only fellowship with folks who are supportive and mature in their faith. I'm not yet at a place where I'm able to minister to argumentative unbelievers on a daily basis, and that's okay. I know my limits. What are some of your limits and how has recognizing them impacted your growth and healing process?

He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams.  

-Psalm 23:2 (NLT)

Another very successful avenue towards healing has been to dig deep into my faith life and read my Bible often, pray often, and spend quiet time in nature, listening to God. We cannot hear Him speak if we are not actively listening. We cannot actively listen to Him if we're allowing distractions from the world into our lives all the time. We have to create a space for Him to speak to us. In the garden, with my ducks is where I feel most at peace listening to Him. Where is your peaceful place? Are you able to make time to go there daily? If not, why? What can you do to make more time in your daily schedule for that peaceful time?

He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. 

- Psalm 23:3 (NLT)

Making sure to check in with God and evaluate my thoughts, words, and actions is important in my healing journey as well. Keeping a journal can help, having accountability from fellow Christians is important, and keeping active in some sort of Bible study or corporate worship is also important. Bottom line - you need a community around you. However, be very discerning about the company you keep. Not all churches are good for you because not all churches rightly teach the Word of God as it is written. 1 Timothy, chapter four reminds us what to look out for when we're looking for a home church. Read it, pray about it, and heed the warnings given there. My family has had to flee from several heretical churches that posed as Bible based but really were not. 

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. 

-Psalm 23:4 (NLT)

Look around you and make sure your friends and family are supporting you and not fighting you. Recently, I had to make the hard choice to sever a relationship with another one of my family members who was making derogatory comments about Christianity. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that we're not fighting against flesh, but against unseen principalities that seek to do evil in our world. I know this is true, and have personally experienced it a number of times. Unfortunately, so do several of my close friends and Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Last week, two of my dear friends completed suicide. The news was incredibly sad. Because of my close walk with the Lord, it didn't devastate me as it would have in years past. I did spend a few days crying and am still prone to break out into tears, as one will do when they mourn. Walking close to the Lord helps though. He is showing me how to mourn in a healthy manner that does not detract from my own healing. 

You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. 

- Psalm 23:5 (NLT)

As I walk with the Lord and abide in His Word, He does bless me in many ways. I had been working outside of the home for a few months and He brought me back home and reminded me of my worth here, in the ministry of my children. He reminded me how much greater it is to be faithful in the small, everyday, mundane things than to focus on being a small fish in a big pond trying to get noticed. He has sent new friends my way, enriched old relationships, given me ample opportunities to pray for others, opened my eyes to new gifts, blessed my marriage, and provided me with more ducks (I now have 16 ducks on my homestead, and several of them are laying eggs. I got nine of them for free!). There are countless more gifts and blessings tucked into each and every day. It's nearly impossible to go more than an hour without expressing intense gratitude towards God - even in this season of mourning the loss of two of my friends. 

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. 

-Psalm 23:6 (NLT)

God is a God of absolutes. He will never leave us. He will love us into eternity. He is always with us. God is good. There is no darkness in Him, therefore, a life spent walking with Him will always produce goodness, unfailing love, mercy, blessings, healing, growth, and fruits of the Spirit. 

A video of some of my ducks - the blackest ones are Cayugas and were free to me. The other 7 are a runner mix, and we adopted them from Tractor Supply on Mother's Day. Anthony built their coop from the free and recycled materials we had on hand. The ducks are only in their coop when we are in bed, otherwise they free-range in our fenced property. Their housing situation will change once the weather starts to change, and their need for night-time warmth changes. 

Me, happy in my Christmas jammies a couple weeks ago, sleeping in our tent in the backyard with the kids. 

Stay tuned for another episode. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

 

 

 

IRVO OTIENO & THE DEADLY IGNORANCE OF POLICE OFFICERS

Let me preface this by stating that I do not advocate for total police reform in any way, shape, or form. I don't believe that would be helpful for anyone involved, especially the police and taxpayers. It would do more damage to too many of those already bouncing around within the judicial system, and it would criminalize police officers who truly don't deserve that type of harsh scrutiny in the first place. What I am advocating for is more education and compassion from mental health providers and a symbiotic relationship to develop between police officers and mental health providers so that this type of situation never happens again. 

Irvo Otieno was pressed to the ground in full restraints by ten people for more than ten minutes. His life was pressed out of him. There was never any hope for resuscitation - just as there should be no hope for judicial resuscitation of the ten who willingly murdered Irvo Otieno, and the hospital workers who willingly stood by, observing the murder of Mr. Otieno. It is my hope that these folks are all persecuted to the full extent of the law and receive lengthy prison sentences. 

This was not a racial attack. If you'll kindly educate yourself and watch the video, you will notice that almost every person in the room with Irvo Otieno was black. There was at least one caucasian person in the room as well. This is also not a total attack on police, as I've stated above, there were hospital personnel in the room as well. At any time, any one of them could have - (and should have) spoken up about the inhumane treatment of a mental health patient. 

As a teenager, I was sent to multiple mental health facilities during a mental health crisis. During my time there, I saw at least one person a week in an out-of-control mental health crisis. The medical team there was able to quickly subdue the person via a tranquilizer injection. It was a simple, swift motion in the backside - usually in the butt cheek - that subdued the patient almost immediately. Every time I saw this done, the patient was out of control and threatening to harm either themselves or the staff. It took three average-sized nurses (under 200 lbs, ranging from barely 5 feet tall to around 6 feet tall) to subdue the patient. Never did I ever see them physically harm the patient, or press their full body weight on the patient. It simply wasn't necessary. 

When someone is in a full-blown mental health crisis, there is no reasoning with them in that direct moment. It's not possible. Let's consider what happens to a hurt animal when someone tries to put them into a cage. What happens? They try to attack, try to escape, and want to run away to someplace that feels safe to them, so they can calm down, regroup and develop a game plan. It's a primal response to feeling unsafe. Now, let's consider what happens when a human feels unsafe. Harvard Medical School has an excellent article regarding the stress response. ("Understanding the Stress Response", Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Health Medical School, July 6, 2020; https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response) I encourage all of you to take a moment to read it. 

There is another fascinating, in-depth study conducted by the National Library of Medicine that discusses physical restraint in mental health nursing. (Ye, J., Wang, C., Xiao, A., Xia, Z., Yu, L., Lin, J., Liao, Y., Xu, Y., & Zhang, Y. (2019). Physical restraint in mental health nursing: A concept analysis. International journal of nursing sciences, 6(3), 343–348. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijnss.2019.04.002) Several great points are made within the article, such as the statement that " physical restraint must be implemented by qualified personnel" because both the patient and the personnel are subjected to "critical risks" through the process of administering restraint. Anyone who administers restraint is liable for the effects thereafter. 

Within the USA, we, as a society have been advocating for bodily autonomy for decades. Physical restraint removes all hopes of bodily autonomy and places the entire livelihood of the person being restrained into the hands of the persons doing the restraining. This shouldn't be earth-shattering news, folks. It's common sense. There are actual laws and regulations against the use of restraint in the state of Virginia. Here is just one of the pages full of statutes I was able to pull up during a simple Google Search, using the terms "laws against the use of restraint in virginia state". (https://casetext.com/regulation/virginia-administrative-code/title-12-health/agency-35-department-of-behavioral-health-and-developmental-services/chapter-115-regulations-to-assure-the-rights-of-individuals-receiving-services-from-providers-licensed-funded-or-operated-by-the-department-of-behavioral/part-iii-explanation-of-individual-rights-and-provider-duties/section-12vac35-115-110-use-of-seclusion-restraint-and-time-out)

There are pages upon pages of laws and statutes all stating the same things - restraint is to be used only as necessary, for a short period of time. It's never to be used as a convenience, only as medically necessary, by trained staff. There are to be records kept with the patient's medical records regarding the use of restraint, or the reasons against using it. Restraint is never to be used solely for the purpose of pending criminal charges...and the list goes on. 

Education is prevalent, relevant, and easily obtained for those who want to obtain it. Did the ten police officers who pressed the life out of Irvo Otieno want to obtain the educational materials? Were they denied the education necessary to preserve this man's life? We have to keep asking questions and asserting that the answers should always be public knowledge because we, the People are paying the price for the ignorance of those who are sworn to serve and protect us. This conversation is far from over. Let's keep talking, and more importantly, let's keep listening to those with firsthand knowledge, so we don't end up on the side of ignorance ourselves. 

Stay tuned for another episode.See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and  don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.