Pulled Into Letting Go

Monday, November 21, 2022

REMEMBER THE BRIDGE

Every time I am tempted to fall to pieces, something inside me says "remember the bridge". Remember walking across the bridge. Remember your look of awe as you drove across it. Remember how miraculous it was to be there, at that moment, suspended over the water, looking across the land and seeing both sides of the river at the exact same time. Remember the bridge.

It isn't a beautiful bridge. It's actually pretty old and in need of repairs. There's a lot of rust on the bridge. It isn't terribly long. There's nothing award-winning about this particular bridge, but it is ingrained in my mind as an altar - a place where I offered prayer to God. A lot of prayers, actually.

Being able to see both sides of something simultaneously is pretty miraculous. Too often we become narrow-minded and only see our preferred way as the acceptable truth. Sometimes we have to "take the high road" or "find a new perspective" to find the answer to all of life's queries. And other times, we just have to remember the place where God did the most work in us. Hence my brain reminded me to "Remember the bridge".

Myrtle Tree Bridge, Gold Beach, Oregon

God takes us places we never thought we could get to on our own. Sometimes, He prevents us from going to the very places we're convinced will bring us happiness. In those moments, we just have to trust Him. In due time, all will be revealed. It may not be in this lifetime, but it will all eventually make some sense.

I've fought being in the cities and towns that God has brought me to over the years. Always, I think I'm supposed to be somewhere else, but it's when I stop and take a long look at the area around me, the conversations happening, the growth in the local churches, and the way my children are thriving, it all begins to make some sense. It does not mean I always grow to love or even like the city or town I'm living in, but I do learn to tolerate it and listen to God more so that I may obey Him. It's in obedience that we find growth and peace.

I know we're not to focus our time on looking back, and I certainly do not encourage you to make a habit of it. There are times, though, that I think we should hold as treasured memories and recall them often as we move forward. Walking across this particular bridge, is for me, a treasured memory. It gives me strength to go forward when I feel I cannot. This bridge reminds me that for every ounce of heartache out there in the world is another pound of courage, of love, and of peace. I loved living in Gold Beach. It is the most beautiful town I've ever had the blessing of living in. I hope that someday, the Lord will allow me to return to live peacefully in the mountains there.

Can you identify a physical location where God spoke to you when you were heartbroken, or at the end of your ropes? A place you went to specifically to talk to Him and hear His response? That's a place I want to you to remember when you're feeling like you've got nothing left. Remember the strength you gained from simply stopping and talking to God in that place. And then do it. Obey Him. Do all the hard things He's asking you to do. Remember the bridge.

Stay tuned for another episode. I aim to crank out the blog posts three times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. See you next time! And remember, if you or a loved one is in danger, get help immediately, and don't stop talking until someone acts on your words.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish, and 200+ through interpretation service. SMS: Text START to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Hours: Available 24 hours. https://www.rainn.org/

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. https://988lifeline.org/

In Christ alone our hope is found

Run, don't walk for help! You're worth it.

Thursday, November 17, 2022

OVERCOMPLICATING OUR BLESSINGS? WHY?

It's almost Thanksgiving. I haven't posted in a while. It's not because I didn't have anything to say, or want to say. It's because I needed to be quiet and let God speak to me. I'd been moving at a speed faster than my prayers could fly. It was time to slow down a moment and let life sink in. Also, my kids were sick and now I'm sick. This morning I had a bad headache, I thought I would throw up. Not fun.

The holidays can be a hard time for so many, but why? Why do they need to be hard, when it's supposed to be such a joyful time? Are we simply overcomplicating things, or is there more to it? Something God's been working on in me is to be a more loving person and to do things out of love, not obligation. I had to stop and ask myself - was I posting on this blog out of love, or obligation? Was I running myself ragged in my personal life out of love or obligation?

Cutting my toxic family out of my life has been really hard. Frankly, it's one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make, and carrying through with it has been even more difficult. I can see the blessings that have come from it already, though. I can see how great this is going to be for me long term and I can already see how wonderful it's been for my children. They are healing and flourishing.

Take time to stop and just enjoy the view.

Today, while I was laid low with a debilitating headache, so many things became clear to me as I opened my heart and cried out to God. Sometimes illness can be a blessing. It forces us to come to a complete stop and focus on what really matters - our relationship with Jesus. My life isn't great because I can write well or inspire others with my story. My life isn't great because my kids are awesome human beings. My life isn't great because I married the most handsome, sexiest man in the world. My life is great because Jesus is in every moment of it and He loves me beyond measure. My life is great because God is great. Why did I overcomplicate that by trying to add in so many things that I didn't have time for Him?

I can't tell you what to do, who to love, or how to heal. All I can do is point you to Jesus and share my own story. My ups and downs, faults and weaknesses, and strengths that come as a result of my belief in Jesus Christ and His sacrifice at Calvary. There is no love greater than Jesus' and no healing greater than that which comes from Him. What I can tell you is that I wish I had cut my toxic family out sooner. I wish I had spent more time in the Word with Jesus. I wish I had loved myself and others more and I wish I had focused more time on my children when they were little. There is never enough time in this life, so we have to make the most of it while we can. Life is too short to be overcomplicating our blessings.

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26 (ESV)